So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
