Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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