mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
