was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Drake has all the answers
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
