he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
