maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
