Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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