I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
