I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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