Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
