I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
honey bunches of taint.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
