I'm so fucking centered right now
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
