This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
