He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize