What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
