So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
