i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
