He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize