4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
