Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
