So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
