This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
