the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
