ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
