I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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