People with herpes should wear stickers.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
