eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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