Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
