my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
