If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
