The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
