it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
wanna go halves on a baby?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
