He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
