3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
