NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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