I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
