And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
