She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
