I have demons in me.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
