but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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