these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
