Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
