I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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