you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
