He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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