it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
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