I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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