It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
We were destined to go to rehab together
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize