Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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