It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
