Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
