she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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