Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Randomize
