i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Shame - the story of my life.
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