In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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