u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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